Oh My Dear Lord...

Tomorrow is Sunday, the twenty-fifth of June in the year of 2006... The reason I'm pointing this out is because I think I'm slightly shocked at that fact... Sure, I get to eat cake tomorrow, the same cake that's been tempting me all year... Think of it, poor married college kids...not enough money to buy snacks...a girl who is addicted to sugar...the only sugar anywhere near is that in the freezer, calling to her...imagine the horribleness of continually having to turn her face away and trying to distract herself from the constant sugar attacks. Weird, though... I've put more time an effort in this one aspect of life (that affects every other aspect) in a year than I have my entire lifetime in anything else. It's weird how it constantly effects every single decision I make. Weird how it changes you, molds you, into someone you would've never become otherwise. Now, by no means am I saying I'm now a good person that I'm married. No way. However, I do believe that I've learned a great many thing and have grown tremendously because of it. I miss Wendy. Haven't seen her in almost a month or something like that. Pretty sure. At least it feels like a month if I haven't. She's a great gal. I love her. Miss my dog. She was the one who was always there physically when I wouldn't let anyone else in. The few times I cried during high school, she was there 90% of the time, comforting me. I love my baby. Cute little Quieta. Just so you know, I almost misspelled it and wrote "cut little Quieta" but I'm quite glad I didn't. I miss Texas and the lovely 120 degrees where it takes you a week to recover from an hour spent outside. I miss seeing and bugging my family daily. It's weird. I'm number two (yes...poop...that's one of the nicknames my dad gave me...nice, huh?) I remember when my brother moved off to college (and everyone told me I'd miss him greatly within the first few months...never happened until I moved off to college)...It was weird. Our family felt like it was missing something...the meanness, but something nonetheless. He was a mean little booger too. Is that even how you spell booger. Then, I moved off to college. He moved back home. Somehow, I fear it will always feel there's a part of me that misses the crazy/crappiness of when my family was "whole." It's weird not seeing C+A working on their homework. Weird to think that I'm practically going to miss out on every aspect of their high school life. Ugh. I'm getting depressed. Weird to think I'm no longer constantly bugging my dad at work (we worked in the same office for four years). Who is doing my job of making sure he's constantly annoyed? Well, I've trained several people very well, but I hope they're keeping it up. Who's able to talk to my mom when she gets bored? There's only so much I can do over the phone. Granted, I wasn't constantly there even when I lived in Texas, but I feel that, for them, I was so much more available than I am now. His alarm just went off. Glad he didn't scare the poop outta me by putting his hands on my shoulders while I was typing and making me almost litterally poopy in my panties. I hate it when he does that. Why, when I should be celebrating what really is something I'm so grateful for (we really are perfect for one another)...why am I missing the past and wondering how things would've ended up if things had worked out differently...